Grieving at Your Own Pace
One of the most common complaints I hear from those who have experienced a profound loss is frustration at people who are impatient for them to "get on with it." The truth is, we all grieve at our own pace and there is no rushing the mourning process. Although it may not be the same for each person, there is really no shortcut. People who seem to plunge right back into "taking care of business" often are carrying a huge burden which will only catch up to them later on.
Having someone objective to speak with after a loss can be very helpful. Can they bring back the loved one - of course not! But mourning can be complicated. Ironically, sometimes the more conflicted a relationship has been, the more difficult the mourning process may be.
It is only normal and human to be sad when someone important to us is gone. And things may never quite feel the same. But it is also normal that in time, some of the intensity of that sadness may fade. This, too, is tricky. It can leave us feeling disloyal, as if we were betraying our loved one by moving on.
Every person's exerience will be unique. Talking it through with someone willing to hear whatever you have to say, can help you become more comfortable with yourself and this new, unwanted situation.